Instant No's on match.com:
1 - They use the word soulmate.
2 - Saying you enjoy "good rap like Eminem"
3 - Jesus is the light of your life.
4 - Making a big deal about how in shape you are. Ok, I get it already.
5 - Mentioning you like to "please a woman with a massage." Yeah, I can see where you're going with that, buddy.
6 - You are currently only seperated.
To be continued...
Please add on in comments if you've got any good ones!