Sunday, November 29, 2009


I've gotta say, I find a couple of the storm chasing guys from Storm Chasers on Discovery to be really hot - especially Reed Timmer and Byron Turk (the TIV Navigator.) I also dug Joel before he and Reed "broke up." Actually Ronan is pretty hot too. Mmm...Storm Chaser boys...

Monday, November 23, 2009

How to Totally Rock a First Date

Obviously there was more there but this is the way it cut off at the bottom of my screen. Priceless...

Mail Order Husbands - this site is hilarious

Check out all the tabs - including the Compatibility Quiz!

New Series: Hey, at least I got a free dinner (and drinks!)

So I meet this guy, K, at National Mechanics one night. He's sitting there alone, looking bored and every once in awhile trying (fairly unsuccessfully) to ask the pretty bartender about whether or not she has read a story he apparently sent her. She says no with a look on her face like "for god's sake leave me alone!" I'm bored and waiting for someone and the two of us start talking. Before he leaves he asks for my number and asks if I would like to go out for dinner sometime. He seems nice enough and kind of cute so of course I say yes. Eventually (and to my surprise) he actually does call and confirms our date. We decide to meet at Zento, my favorite sushi place in Old City. While the conversation flows pretty well, he starts it off (and most of it ends up being) about his past dating life and in ways I already feel like we've drifted into more of a friend mode, with me basically playing the therapist. Though it's pretty obvious to me that he's not feeling it all that much with me, nor me with him, we are still having a fine time and we decide to go over to National Mechanics to watch the Phillies. On the way over he starts talking about the bartender that I saw him talking to (and being ignored by) on the night we met. he starts off about how she is so beautiful and great and they've talked a lot and have this amzing connection and she is just beautiful and incredible but she has a boyfriend and the only reason she was ignoring him was because she is afraid of the intensity of her feelings towards him and doesn't think she can really talk to him because of her boyfriend but he knows she's into him because someone has told him. This goes on for pretty much the whole two blocks as we are walking to National Mechanics. Now sure, I knew this probably wasn't going to go anywhere with him, but come on, we are still on a date and you are spending all this time telling me about how great this other woman is and how beautiful she is and how perfect she is to you? I mean, what am I, a consolation prize? I'm the girl you go on a date with because the one you really want has a boyfriend? Plus, talk about being delusional - I highly doubt that she is secretly in love with him and only ignores him because "her feelings towards him are so strong," or whatever. So we're almost there and he sees that I'm a little hurt/pissed and he says - "I guess that was kind of rude, huh?" and I'm like, "kind of rude? You just spent the past few minutes gushing about how wonderful this other girl is - TO YOUR DATE!" Anyway, he apologizes again and asks if he should just go home and (yell at me for this if you want, but I think it's only fair) I say (sort of teasing, but mostly not) that we both want to see the game and it probably wasn't going to work out between us anyway but if he's going to stay, he at least better be buying me drinks! Ha. Anyway, he says that's only fair and, though I'm not exactly the friendliest to him while we're there, at least at first, I figure I might as well just enjoy myself - plus, as I even told him, at the very least it was good blog material!

Adventures in Online Dating: OkCupid Edition

Wow. Since I've started looking around OkCupid again I have e-met some, well, interesting folks. Now, don't get me wrong, there are surprisingly a lot of very cute and seemingly somewhat interesting guys on OkCupid - much more so than PlentyOfFish the other free online dating site. Still, you also find a lot of weirdos.

Guy #1: So the first guy I respond back too is in real estate and lives in the city - he's very cute in all his pictures, his profile is smart, clever and funny. I start talking to him on the OkCupid IM. First thing he tells me about is watching Judge Judy with some crazy ex-girfriend - This leads into talk about excessive jealousy in relationships. Now I'm the type of person that if I'm out with a guy I'm dating and we go into a bar and I happen to know the bouncer or the bartender I will say hi and give them a hug - that's just who I am - it means absolutely nothing. I need a guy who can handle that. Plus, as I told him (and as I've told other guys who have said to me at times - oh, but that guy wants to sleep with you) many guys want to or at least would sleep with almost any even slightly attractive woman. They might or they might not want to but why does it matter when it's never going to happen? I really don't understand the problem*. I started talking about even when you are single how certain men seem to be delusional about their chances with you. I said that it seems like men often overestimate their attractiveness and women often underestimate. He seemed to take great offense to this and said that almost all women think they are hot and good in bed and most of them aren't. I said I didn't agree with that statement although, in general I do feel that if you make a big point of making overarching statements about how good a kisser you are or how good you are in bed (especially men!) you probably aren't, or at least aren't as good as you think you are (see my previous blog about red flags!). Honestly, a lot of it is a matter of how you mesh with the other person. Though I think in general there are some things that people do that are generally thought of as bad (i.e. for kissing: the fish mouth , too much tongue, too much saliva, and for sex: the jackhammer, and the woman that just lies there like a dead fish. Still, some people just like different things and like things done different ways. Still some people just are bad (think the sex in the city where the guy pounds her like a jackhammer and then is mad because she doesn't want to sleep with him again). Anyway, after a little while of this conversation he says something like "Why can't you just let it go? You must just hate men because you think you're bad in bed." I say, "whoa, hold on here #1 - you were the one that brought this topic up, #2 - I was under the impression this was just a friendly discussion, and #3 - I never said anything about whether I thought I was bad or good in bed. Needless to say, that discussion ended there. Frankly I'm not sure why I didn't end it earlier.

*After writing this I went to check out the latest on Shmitten Kitten and came across a post about pretty much this exact thing entitled: "Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "Wow, You Really Know A Lot of Guys Here" - Very funny, and very worth checking out!

Guy #2: I am online and get an IM from him. It says "ruff, ruff, I am a human dog." I wouldn't have responded at all, but another (seemingly normal) guy that I am talking too suggests I ask him: "Has that worked in the past or are you trying new material?" He replied with "i like to wear a collar and leash. Just for the sake of curiosity I go to his profile and his headline says: "I am Male Submissive, Puppy Slave, and Rimmer." Basically his profile says much of the same plus a lot of other, um, interesting words and phrases strung together and cut and pasted into every part of the profile. I will not repost it here because god knows I don't want people searching for that stuff and coming to my site!

Guy #3: This is an IM I get today - he just says "hi" to start. I look at his profile. To start, his title is this: "I am loveing, happy, and im good." His profile answers are as follows (and the funny thing is, at the very end he says that he enjoys engaging in intelligent conversation - hmmm...):

My Self-Summary:
I like to dance I'm a good dancer i like to hang out with my friends and the girls i like to go to the movies the mall the bars and the clubs. I love to dance with the girls and my friends like you so if you want to hang out with me than you need to give me you e-mail address or your cell phone number. If you want to talk to me you can give me your cell phone number and i will call you or your e-mail address so i can I'm you or send you e-mail to you What I’m doing with my life
what are you doing with your life?:
i work at a hotel . and when i have free time I'm hang out with my friends and go out with my friends as friends. I’m really good at
I'm a good dancer
My favorite books, movies, music, and food:
nothing i don't have a favorite book but i like to read. i like all kinds of music On a typical Friday night I am:
I'm looking for a friend a and someone to meet with me. I like to read i like to dance I'm a good dancer. I like to hang out with my friends. and the girls i like to go to the movies the mall the bars and the clubs. I'm a good dancer i love to dance withe the girls. and my friends like you so if you want to hang out with me. than you need to give me you e-mail address or your cell phone number. if you want to talk to me you can give me your cell phone number. and i will call you or your e-mail address so i can im you or send you e-mail to you. You should message me if
I'm looking for a friend a and im looking for a friend to meet with me meet with me.I enjoy spending time with my close friends, but i also enjoying going out partying. I love to hit the club or a bar. A good drink is necessary.

By the way, i also find it interesting that his describes himself as a very serious catholic who is also very serious about his astrological sign. And, the clincher, under language he puts "English (okay)."

To his credit, at least this one sounds like he's probably a nice guy, just a nice guy who is, well, let's just say I doubt you need "intelligent conversation" with him. I'm surprised he even spelled intelligent right!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Roses From the Wrong Man

This happened to me recently - no roses, but still. I always think I want to have a guy be smitten over me but the problem is, when it happens (and it only does rarely), it's always been with a guy with whom, no matter how hard I try, I just can't return those feelings. The absolute worst is trying to tell them that it's not just that you are not sure that's it's right, it's that you know that it isn't. I've only really had to do this twice, thank god, and both times it's just crushed me, but I knew I had to do it because both were SUCH nice guys and though I tried to give it a chance I realized fairly quickly that romantic feeling just weren't going to develop and it wouldn't have been fair to lead them on or to just disappear. I guess I hate it too because it's been me on the other end so many times and I know damn well how much it can hurt. In a way, this is part of the reason I think I've been broken up with more than I've broken up with people - I've has situations where I've stuck it out to the point where I'm kind of relieved when it happens mostly so that I don't have to be the one to do it. But that was never the right way to deal with things and although it's harder, I guess I'm glad that I'm now better able to say - this isn't right, lets end it before anyone gets REALLY hurt. Anyway, this song kind of says it all:

"Roses From the Wrong Man" by Christine Lavin

She opened the door, surprised to see a deliveryman
Holding a beautiful vase of roses in his hands.
"For me?" she said; he nodded his head.
She took the flowers in and read the note.

Roses from the wrong man;
Poetry written in the wrong hand.
She waits for one; she hears from another
Who tells her how much he loves her
With roses from the wrong man.

She places the vase in the middle of the living room.
The air is scented with the delicate sweet perfume.
She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes,
Shakes her head slowly and sighs.


How long can she hold out for someone who might never come around?
And how many times will this other man try when she keeps turning him down?
She's not getting any younger, but she don't want to settle for less.
Oh, how can such a pretty bunch of flowers trigger such deep unhappiness?

Ever since she was 11 or 12 it was her dream
To receive the kind of flowers carried by the homecoming queen.
And sometimes dreams can come true
In ways you don't expect them to.
Sometimes dreams can come true
In ways you don't want them to.
Roses from the wrong man.