Thursday, May 13, 2010

I should know better...

1 - Says he lives in center city yet needs to drive to old city, can't find the place and wants to leave because he can't park on the immediate block. You know there are such things as cabs, even if you don't live walking or busses or trains. Also brags about how he lives in a center city high rise on his profile.

2 - Says he wants to meet, but he needs to eat, could he meet me in an hour. How about ask me if I've had dinner? And then the night before he texts something about possibly meeting for appetizers and a drink - what about dinner? Come on. You brag on your profile about making 150k plus per year and says he "treats ladies with flawless manners" yet you won't even ask a girl out to dinner?

3 - writes his profile like it's a resume and/or for a job interview with bullet points:


* I got some panache."

At least if you are going to say it, say "I'VE" got panache.

4 - Again with the job interview, states his "flaws" while trying to talk himself up:

* FLAW: I’m a true Renaissance man - always striving to learn, learn, learn. I am the king of abstract thought. I never buy into the “usual way” of seeing things. I fight for the truth, even if I am swimming upstream.

* FLAW: I’m a man of adventure and am constantly spontaneous. I’m self-employed so I often run to the mountains for a mini ski trip, the beach, or jump in my plane, or book a flight to the Caribbean the day before the flight.

* FLAW: Obsessed with geography, travel spots, future adventures, and trivia.

5 - Says this in his profile: "My concept of an ideal relationship would be "best friends with an intense physical component." Do I need to say anything more?"

I think he wants to have sex with himself...

6- Is a texter that expects you to get back to him right away after his first text but when you are having a conversation about meeting up will go for much longer periods without responding and then seem shocked or annoyed when you don't feel like going out 2+ hours later.

And finally, feels it necessary to say in his profile: "No needy, unstable nutbags please!" Good lord.

Douche-bag update!

So after waiting to hear from him for an hour and a half my friend Krista calls and asks me if I want to meet her for a drink. I say sure (surprise!) and go to meet her at a neighborhood bar in old city where I live (old city, not the bar), and, may I mention, a part of the city I love. So then he calls. First thing I ask him is where in the city he lives that he was driving to old city the other night when he couldn't find parking and then left. He says he lives at 18th and Spring Garden - in the penthouse sweet, of course, he MUST mention this - and that he has a parking spot so why waste money on a cab. I mean, I understand this if you are going somewhere where parking is easy to find and free like Northern Liberties or South Philly, but for old city? I tell him i am out with a friend and he is welcome to come by. Now at this point I'm already thinking I don't even think I WANT to meet him, but I figure I have my friend as a buffer so why not try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He proceeds to let me know that his is not very familiar with Old City as he stopped going there awhile ago once old city had become "crime central." Um, what? I mean I know that yes, I have gotten mugged or almost mugged in old city twice, but I have friends that have had things happen to them in Rittenhouse and other nicer areas of the city. It happens, folks, it's a city! (Also, it's not like his area of the city is Pleasantville!) I also know that at times there have been minor shooting instances or fights but it's pretty much all been on a Friday or Saturday night, very late, and in or around one of the clubs filled with, may I mention, mostly people who AREN'T from old city. Believe it or not, people, those of us who live in old city, hate it on the weekends and no, most of us don't spend our time going to the Blue Martini or Red Sky or all those various douche-y clubs. Anyhoo, then he tells me how he witnessed a shooting in front of one of the clubs and he personally had to use his own belt to tie the guys like around the femeral artery so that the guy didn't bleed to death. Oh, good lord, now you're the hero too? Whatever. Then he tells me that he has it from a good source that just recently some guy shot several people in a driveby outside one of the clubs with an oozie. An, oozie, folks. And I live in old city and never heard about THAT one. Also, again, when shootings do happen they are on the weekend, NOT in the middle of the week, but whatever. So anyway, at this point I'm just annoyed and irritated by him and I know damn well that if I met him I'd probably just end up wanting the strangle him. And then the kicker. He knows I am out with my friend and he says, well if I came all the way out there to meet you would you at least be willing to talk to me privately, I don't want to come out there just to hang out with two girls. And I say, well, I'm not going to abandon my friend and leave her sitting all by herself, she's not staying late, just come out and we can talk one on one once she leaves (though at this point, knowing how much he annoyed me, if he did come I'd probably beg her NOT to leave.) So this get's him all huffy and he says something like "Fine. Whatever." and then hangs up on me. Hello, asshole.

Seriously, What a douche.

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