Thursday, September 10, 2009

Red Flags

1. When a guy says right off the bat that he's a "good" or even a "great" kisser, you can safely assume that he's not.

2. When a guy you have met online sends you a shirtless picture he has taken himself in the bathroom. While this is bad enough, needless to say, the penis shot is even worse.

3. When a guy wants to take you to a strip club on a first date. Even worse when the guy is on a first name basis with pretty much everyone who works there.

4. When a guy you have pretty much just met says things to you like, "You are going to kiss me now" (not after the comment, I'm not) or "I'm going home with you later" (If you ever had ANY chance of getting in my pants at any point in time, you no longer do).

5. When a guy not only says he would never want to have kids because he's too selfish, but also because they might end up being autistic and that even if he was married and they had an autistic child he would leave them both in a heartbeat.

6. When, after the basic first date questions, the silence is so extreme you feel like if you were on a sitcom this is when the laugh track would kick in.

7. When a guy spends most of your first date talking about what a "bitch" and a "whore" his ex is.

8. When you are on vacation with your boyfriend of four months who is 22 and still a virgin (you aren't) who also likes Anne Geddes babies and is obsessed with the Golden Girls and you come out of the bathroom in a red silk number from Victoria's Secret and he says - "It looks soft. I'm not feeling very well, I think I'm going to go to bed."

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