Adventures in Craigslist

So recently I posted something on Craigslist asking for someone to come with me to use a buy one entree get one free Hibachi coupon. My post was as follows:

"I have a buy one entree get one free coupon for Hibachi that expires on the 15th so I'd like to use it tonight or sometime soon. I'm looking for a guy to join me who is preferably between around 27-40, smart, at least college educated, someone with the kind of sense of humor that they appreciate Arrested Development, The Daily Show and Colbert Report, 30 Rock, etc. (if you like any of those shows, you get the point). Basically someone that I can have a decent conversation with and a good time platonically, and, if we have a romantic connection maybe we could go out again sometime (and if we don't, we could still just be friends). And as for me, I'm 28, single, live in the city, love animals, have a bachelors degree in sociology, working on getting my real estate license and currently working part time as an office manager in the city and, as you can probably tell, love all the shows listed above. Movie wise: love flicks like Annie Hall, Juno, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Best in Show - and, predictably, am generally more into movies that play at the Ritz, rather than at a conventional theater. Music wise: best way to describe my taste is saying that I like a lot of the stuff on WXPN. Anything else, just ask :)

I hate to add this on, but from previous experience I feel I must: Please do not send me picture of your penis, pictures of you shirtless, or anything like that. Yes I'd like to know what you look like, but I don't need to see your chest or your penis. This is not about sex and you aren't going to convince me to make it about sex, so please, if that's what you are looking for please just spare me the e-mail."

So I got some great responses, some that were just so-so, and thankfully, everyone listened about the photos. While none were completely god-awful, there were definitely some I felt were worth sharing - some because of the individual response, and some that are part of a pattern of responses I've seen. Here we go:

#1 - Attraction is subjective - even if you are Brad Pitt, it's a little presumptuous to refer to yourself as being "very attractive" or something similar. Even if the woman does find you very attractive, she'll likely find your arrogance to be a turn off. Not to mention, most of the guys that have said something like this, I personally have not found very attractive at all. if you want to say something about your looks say something like "I think I'm a decent looking guy," or "most people say I'm pretty cute," then she'll be pleasantly surprised if she does think you are hot, and won't think you are a complete douchebag whether she finds you attractive or not. Case in point:

Title of picture attached to e-mail: "my good looking self.gif"

#2 - Use punctuation:

"hi seen your post and just want to see if you like to maybe chat some and see where things go am a single guy not looking for any games am single and i take care of my self well so if you like to chat get back like to hear from you"

"hi im joe 50 look 35 and seeking a girl that may move and seeks to build new life if interested lets chat u look good to me i think i would suit you very well bye for now joe"

#3 - Don't phrase your e-mail like it's a poem:

"i m omar and interested in knowing more about you
whatcha doing
do u work?
hey what up
i m definitely a non smoker
college educatehows your monday going
good morningd, sweet and not selfish
i like movies, jogging, exercising, travelin and love the beach and
shore not the sand though;-)
whats your name
very much interested in talking more if you have time 4 me:-)
mine is omar
IT manager at PHL, International sales manager and soccer referee at
naval yard in philadelphia
philly/m/29
200lbs
5'9
message me back"

"hi i am very interested in getting to know you
you sound interesting
as for me i am asian
a business man
love to be outdoors
also i like to relax after a lond day of work
i am educated and silly
i also have a romantic sexuall side i am a scorpion so by nature i am passionte
lets get to know each other
tell me about yourself"

#4 - Know the difference between "your" and "you're":

"hi your sexy"

"your really cute I hope I can get to know you"

#5 - Pay attention to your e-mail address: ""

#6 - Use words correctly. We all make mistakes but at least try to proof read or spell check if you are trying to impress someone:

"I like having a simulating conversations over a great meal or wine. If nothing comes out of our dinner I would like to be just friends. I am a fan of movies that play at the Ritz more than at the United Artists. Movies like Thank You for Smoking and Burn After Reading do it for me. As for music I have an ecliptic taste that spans a variety of genres. If its got a good beat/lyrics I will listen. Well if you would like to know more, feel free to write back."

"I 'm single and board."

#7 - Don't send e-mail titled like this: “can i do bad things to you?”

#8 - Don't be so cliche:

"I am Looking for possible friendship leading into a Long-Term
Relationship. I am 5ft 10 inches Tall 190 pounds, Deep green eyes with
brown hair.. I work for the Federal government as a Master Mechanic.
Some things I like to do are long walks on the beach, moonlight dinners
flea markets and yard Sales, always enjoy treating the lady I am with
very special. If you have any questions Please feel free to ask and can
supply a photo upon request. Hope to hear back from you in the near
future, and thank you for reading."

#9 - This is not an ad for a job:

"Greetings..very sweet....seek a lover, as well...let's chat and meet...some pixs attached...Randy/SWM-47...local in delco/philly burbs....N/S, N/D, D/D free, too!
Pls share your first name, age, pixs-links, cell, location and avail to meet...
I can host sometimes, too
100% real and 100% straight!"

[Note: This guy above sent the same e-mail in response to 16 different craigslist ads, three of which had Craigslist e-mails starting with "gig" and three with Craigslist e-mails starting with "serv"]

"I'm an imternational student at CCC.I would like to reply this position please contact me"

#10 - Don't over use exclamation points in really uncecessary places:

"Hi my name is
Paul!I'm 22yo I'm:friendly,good looking,easy going, nice,with great sense of humour,open-minded ,and very serious person!,athletic body, 6"0high!
I'm well mannered,intelegent,know how to respect and treat lady!!
I'm going to medical school,and have a job of lab technician!I'm living in Philadelphia(Northeast), & if you interesting,contact me!Because I'M VERY INTERESTING!That's it!ask me any questions if you have any!bye"

#11 - Just NO (the bold parts are my favorites):

"I liked nick and Noras play list better then juno. I would like to go out to eat sometime. By the way my name is Jim I'm a good looking white male 31 6 ft 170 brn hair blu eyes. I do work I have a good job. also I'm fun to be around and enjoy laughing. If u would like to know more feel free to send me a reply"

"hi
swm 30yrs old 5'8 150lbs,let me tell you more.I live in norristown, I own a car and motorcycles, My hobbies are working on cars and motorcycles going out to get drinks,going for walks,a drive or just staying home and watching a movie or tv. I like certain types of music50's,60's,rock,punk,and hip-hop. Now I am only looking for a friend but also looking for love. Here is alittle about me tell me some stuff about yourself could you send a pic"

"Hi.
My name is abdel, im 28 from west africa n has been here for the past 2
n half years. I saw ur add on craigslist and get interested in the
matter. I will certainly be glad to share some ideas with you during a
night.Holla back if you like what u see."

"Hello my name is Don,and iam from NC,but iam living up here in PA.I like what you said in your ad,so figured i get back with you.Iam not to good with the computer so you will have to work with me.Okay.Just a little about me.Iam a clean cut man that doesnt smoke or drink,love to have fun,and iam looking for a woman to settle down with.So just the little i said i hope i got your attention.Thank you for your time."

*Needless to say, none of the above got responses*