Eh - Harmony

So I'm on eHarmony checking my matches and I have yet another moment of realization that it hardly EVER happens that anyone I am actually even remotely attracted to makes an effort to get in contact with me. Every once in awhile some one who I think sounds smart and looks like someone that I at least possibly could be attracted to responds to me, but it's very rare that that person actually ever takes the initiative. I know this sounds bas of me to say, but it really seems like the only men that are attracted to me are either significantly older than me, meaning 15-20+ years, or overweight - and by this, I mean like a large pudding belly, not just a soft little pudge in the tummy. Now, I have dated guys that are older than me, that is not a problem, but the fact is I do want to settle down someday, get married, have kids, and a 40+ year old who has already been married and divorced and perhaps already has kids, is less likely to want that. In addition, I don't like the idea that by the time my kids were college age, my husband would already be of retirement age! And with the weight thing - I don't need a guy that's all buff and works out all the time or anything, and I don't care if my guy has a little bit of a tummy - hell, my bodies not even close to perfect - but I'm just not into, well, much larger guys. I also get a lot of short guys - really short guys, like who are only an inch to three inches taller than me. I'm only 5'2 but I wear heels a lot and i don't want to be taller than my boyfriend when I'm in heels! Still, at least with the short guys, I know that I have been attracted to guys that were shorter (and not to mention, the short guys equipment (from what I've seen) can sometimes be surprisingly - well, surprising - considering the guys height ;) Still, fact remains that in general I'm attracted to taller guys, like at least say, 5'8" and up. the thing is, I'm not looking for Brad Pitt. In fact when a guy who is above average in attractiveness finds me attractive I'm always astonished - but I'd like to think I'm at least slightly above average in attractiveness. I mean I know I don't take great pictures but do I look so awful that guys just know they could never be attracted to me? In fact recently a guy closed me as an eHarmony match with the reason being "I just don't feel the chemistry is there" (translated I don't think you are attractive at all) and he wasn't even that good looking (at least not in my opinion)! I mean, my self-esteem isn't always exactly the highest - but after certain experiences with this online dating thing I've started thinking that while most of the time on a scale from 1-10 I would place myself somewhere (depending on various factors) between a "5" and a "7" maybe I'm just delusional and I'm really no more than a "5" even when I am looking my best and maybe a "3" at my worst. I know I'm probably being too hard on myself, and I know that logically there are other reasons people don't respond to people in online dating, but still, after days like today, this is how I feel.

For more on online dating being an annoying pain in the ass (yet we keep suffering through it!) check out the Saucy Single Life.