Adventures in Online Dating: OkCupid Edition

Wow. Since I've started looking around OkCupid again I have e-met some, well, interesting folks. Now, don't get me wrong, there are surprisingly a lot of very cute and seemingly somewhat interesting guys on OkCupid - much more so than PlentyOfFish the other free online dating site. Still, you also find a lot of weirdos.

Guy #1: So the first guy I respond back too is in real estate and lives in the city - he's very cute in all his pictures, his profile is smart, clever and funny. I start talking to him on the OkCupid IM. First thing he tells me about is watching Judge Judy with some crazy ex-girfriend - This leads into talk about excessive jealousy in relationships. Now I'm the type of person that if I'm out with a guy I'm dating and we go into a bar and I happen to know the bouncer or the bartender I will say hi and give them a hug - that's just who I am - it means absolutely nothing. I need a guy who can handle that. Plus, as I told him (and as I've told other guys who have said to me at times - oh, but that guy wants to sleep with you) many guys want to or at least would sleep with almost any even slightly attractive woman. They might or they might not want to but why does it matter when it's never going to happen? I really don't understand the problem*. I started talking about even when you are single how certain men seem to be delusional about their chances with you. I said that it seems like men often overestimate their attractiveness and women often underestimate. He seemed to take great offense to this and said that almost all women think they are hot and good in bed and most of them aren't. I said I didn't agree with that statement although, in general I do feel that if you make a big point of making overarching statements about how good a kisser you are or how good you are in bed (especially men!) you probably aren't, or at least aren't as good as you think you are (see my previous blog about red flags!). Honestly, a lot of it is a matter of how you mesh with the other person. Though I think in general there are some things that people do that are generally thought of as bad (i.e. for kissing: the fish mouth , too much tongue, too much saliva, and for sex: the jackhammer, and the woman that just lies there like a dead fish. Still, some people just like different things and like things done different ways. Still some people just are bad (think the sex in the city where the guy pounds her like a jackhammer and then is mad because she doesn't want to sleep with him again). Anyway, after a little while of this conversation he says something like "Why can't you just let it go? You must just hate men because you think you're bad in bed." I say, "whoa, hold on here #1 - you were the one that brought this topic up, #2 - I was under the impression this was just a friendly discussion, and #3 - I never said anything about whether I thought I was bad or good in bed. Needless to say, that discussion ended there. Frankly I'm not sure why I didn't end it earlier.

*After writing this I went to check out the latest on Shmitten Kitten and came across a post about pretty much this exact thing entitled: "Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "Wow, You Really Know A Lot of Guys Here" - Very funny, and very worth checking out!

Guy #2: I am online and get an IM from him. It says "ruff, ruff, I am a human dog." I wouldn't have responded at all, but another (seemingly normal) guy that I am talking too suggests I ask him: "Has that worked in the past or are you trying new material?" He replied with "i like to wear a collar and leash. Just for the sake of curiosity I go to his profile and his headline says: "I am Male Submissive, Puppy Slave, and Rimmer." Basically his profile says much of the same plus a lot of other, um, interesting words and phrases strung together and cut and pasted into every part of the profile. I will not repost it here because god knows I don't want people searching for that stuff and coming to my site!

Guy #3: This is an IM I get today - he just says "hi" to start. I look at his profile. To start, his title is this: "I am loveing, happy, and im good." His profile answers are as follows (and the funny thing is, at the very end he says that he enjoys engaging in intelligent conversation - hmmm...):

My Self-Summary:
I like to dance I'm a good dancer i like to hang out with my friends and the girls i like to go to the movies the mall the bars and the clubs. I love to dance with the girls and my friends like you so if you want to hang out with me than you need to give me you e-mail address or your cell phone number. If you want to talk to me you can give me your cell phone number and i will call you or your e-mail address so i can I'm you or send you e-mail to you What I’m doing with my life
what are you doing with your life?:
i work at a hotel . and when i have free time I'm hang out with my friends and go out with my friends as friends. I’m really good at
I'm a good dancer
My favorite books, movies, music, and food:
nothing i don't have a favorite book but i like to read. i like all kinds of music On a typical Friday night I am:
I'm looking for a friend a and someone to meet with me. I like to read i like to dance I'm a good dancer. I like to hang out with my friends. and the girls i like to go to the movies the mall the bars and the clubs. I'm a good dancer i love to dance withe the girls. and my friends like you so if you want to hang out with me. than you need to give me you e-mail address or your cell phone number. if you want to talk to me you can give me your cell phone number. and i will call you or your e-mail address so i can im you or send you e-mail to you. You should message me if
I'm looking for a friend a and im looking for a friend to meet with me meet with me.I enjoy spending time with my close friends, but i also enjoying going out partying. I love to hit the club or a bar. A good drink is necessary.

By the way, i also find it interesting that his describes himself as a very serious catholic who is also very serious about his astrological sign. And, the clincher, under language he puts "English (okay)."

To his credit, at least this one sounds like he's probably a nice guy, just a nice guy who is, well, let's just say I doubt you need "intelligent conversation" with him. I'm surprised he even spelled intelligent right!