Just read the post "Best and Worst Professions to Date" on Lemondrop.com and felt I would put in my two cents for my first new post in awhile:
In the Best Category:
Teachers: I have to agree with Lemondrop on this one. Teachers are generally smart, patient, good with people, and genuinely care about others. Also, the whole summer off thing definitely doesn't hurt! At the same time, I am NOT and never will be a morning person and teachers are pretty much always early to bed and early to rise.
IT guys/Engineers: They are smart, they can fix your computer, they generally have 9-5 jobs that don't expand much over that, not to mention they tend to make decent money.
Carpenters/Handymen/etc.: They can fix stuff, and they know how to work with their hands - 'nuff said.
Worst:
Doctors & Lawyers: You are NEVER going to see them (especially doctors) and as far as the money thing goes they generally don't make all that much in the beginning and/or are paying off student loans for the first 10-15 years of their careers.
Musicians: Assuming they are actually any good, they tend to be more loyal and in love with their band than you, in the times that they are not working their day job you tend not to see too much of them, and, not to mention, no matter what they are going to be hit on all the time.
Bartenders: Has anybody ever though Bartenders are good to date? Unless you work in the restaurant industry this is probably always a bad idea. Still, they ARE fun to flirt with!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
I should know better...
1 - Says he lives in center city yet needs to drive to old city, can't find the place and wants to leave because he can't park on the immediate block. You know there are such things as cabs, even if you don't live walking or busses or trains. Also brags about how he lives in a center city high rise on his profile.
2 - Says he wants to meet, but he needs to eat, could he meet me in an hour. How about ask me if I've had dinner? And then the night before he texts something about possibly meeting for appetizers and a drink - what about dinner? Come on. You brag on your profile about making 150k plus per year and says he "treats ladies with flawless manners" yet you won't even ask a girl out to dinner?
3 - writes his profile like it's a resume and/or for a job interview with bullet points:
"POINTS OF INTEREST:
* I got some panache."
At least if you are going to say it, say "I'VE" got panache.
4 - Again with the job interview, states his "flaws" while trying to talk himself up:
* FLAW: I’m a true Renaissance man - always striving to learn, learn, learn. I am the king of abstract thought. I never buy into the “usual way” of seeing things. I fight for the truth, even if I am swimming upstream.
* FLAW: I’m a man of adventure and am constantly spontaneous. I’m self-employed so I often run to the mountains for a mini ski trip, the beach, or jump in my plane, or book a flight to the Caribbean the day before the flight.
* FLAW: Obsessed with geography, travel spots, future adventures, and trivia.
5 - Says this in his profile: "My concept of an ideal relationship would be "best friends with an intense physical component." Do I need to say anything more?"
I think he wants to have sex with himself...
6- Is a texter that expects you to get back to him right away after his first text but when you are having a conversation about meeting up will go for much longer periods without responding and then seem shocked or annoyed when you don't feel like going out 2+ hours later.
And finally, feels it necessary to say in his profile: "No needy, unstable nutbags please!" Good lord.
Douche-bag update!
So after waiting to hear from him for an hour and a half my friend Krista calls and asks me if I want to meet her for a drink. I say sure (surprise!) and go to meet her at a neighborhood bar in old city where I live (old city, not the bar), and, may I mention, a part of the city I love. So then he calls. First thing I ask him is where in the city he lives that he was driving to old city the other night when he couldn't find parking and then left. He says he lives at 18th and Spring Garden - in the penthouse sweet, of course, he MUST mention this - and that he has a parking spot so why waste money on a cab. I mean, I understand this if you are going somewhere where parking is easy to find and free like Northern Liberties or South Philly, but for old city? I tell him i am out with a friend and he is welcome to come by. Now at this point I'm already thinking I don't even think I WANT to meet him, but I figure I have my friend as a buffer so why not try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He proceeds to let me know that his is not very familiar with Old City as he stopped going there awhile ago once old city had become "crime central." Um, what? I mean I know that yes, I have gotten mugged or almost mugged in old city twice, but I have friends that have had things happen to them in Rittenhouse and other nicer areas of the city. It happens, folks, it's a city! (Also, it's not like his area of the city is Pleasantville!) I also know that at times there have been minor shooting instances or fights but it's pretty much all been on a Friday or Saturday night, very late, and in or around one of the clubs filled with, may I mention, mostly people who AREN'T from old city. Believe it or not, people, those of us who live in old city, hate it on the weekends and no, most of us don't spend our time going to the Blue Martini or Red Sky or all those various douche-y clubs. Anyhoo, then he tells me how he witnessed a shooting in front of one of the clubs and he personally had to use his own belt to tie the guys like around the femeral artery so that the guy didn't bleed to death. Oh, good lord, now you're the hero too? Whatever. Then he tells me that he has it from a good source that just recently some guy shot several people in a driveby outside one of the clubs with an oozie. An, oozie, folks. And I live in old city and never heard about THAT one. Also, again, when shootings do happen they are on the weekend, NOT in the middle of the week, but whatever. So anyway, at this point I'm just annoyed and irritated by him and I know damn well that if I met him I'd probably just end up wanting the strangle him. And then the kicker. He knows I am out with my friend and he says, well if I came all the way out there to meet you would you at least be willing to talk to me privately, I don't want to come out there just to hang out with two girls. And I say, well, I'm not going to abandon my friend and leave her sitting all by herself, she's not staying late, just come out and we can talk one on one once she leaves (though at this point, knowing how much he annoyed me, if he did come I'd probably beg her NOT to leave.) So this get's him all huffy and he says something like "Fine. Whatever." and then hangs up on me. Hello, asshole.
Seriously, What a douche.
2 - Says he wants to meet, but he needs to eat, could he meet me in an hour. How about ask me if I've had dinner? And then the night before he texts something about possibly meeting for appetizers and a drink - what about dinner? Come on. You brag on your profile about making 150k plus per year and says he "treats ladies with flawless manners" yet you won't even ask a girl out to dinner?
3 - writes his profile like it's a resume and/or for a job interview with bullet points:
"POINTS OF INTEREST:
* I got some panache."
At least if you are going to say it, say "I'VE" got panache.
4 - Again with the job interview, states his "flaws" while trying to talk himself up:
* FLAW: I’m a true Renaissance man - always striving to learn, learn, learn. I am the king of abstract thought. I never buy into the “usual way” of seeing things. I fight for the truth, even if I am swimming upstream.
* FLAW: I’m a man of adventure and am constantly spontaneous. I’m self-employed so I often run to the mountains for a mini ski trip, the beach, or jump in my plane, or book a flight to the Caribbean the day before the flight.
* FLAW: Obsessed with geography, travel spots, future adventures, and trivia.
5 - Says this in his profile: "My concept of an ideal relationship would be "best friends with an intense physical component." Do I need to say anything more?"
I think he wants to have sex with himself...
6- Is a texter that expects you to get back to him right away after his first text but when you are having a conversation about meeting up will go for much longer periods without responding and then seem shocked or annoyed when you don't feel like going out 2+ hours later.
And finally, feels it necessary to say in his profile: "No needy, unstable nutbags please!" Good lord.
Douche-bag update!
So after waiting to hear from him for an hour and a half my friend Krista calls and asks me if I want to meet her for a drink. I say sure (surprise!) and go to meet her at a neighborhood bar in old city where I live (old city, not the bar), and, may I mention, a part of the city I love. So then he calls. First thing I ask him is where in the city he lives that he was driving to old city the other night when he couldn't find parking and then left. He says he lives at 18th and Spring Garden - in the penthouse sweet, of course, he MUST mention this - and that he has a parking spot so why waste money on a cab. I mean, I understand this if you are going somewhere where parking is easy to find and free like Northern Liberties or South Philly, but for old city? I tell him i am out with a friend and he is welcome to come by. Now at this point I'm already thinking I don't even think I WANT to meet him, but I figure I have my friend as a buffer so why not try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He proceeds to let me know that his is not very familiar with Old City as he stopped going there awhile ago once old city had become "crime central." Um, what? I mean I know that yes, I have gotten mugged or almost mugged in old city twice, but I have friends that have had things happen to them in Rittenhouse and other nicer areas of the city. It happens, folks, it's a city! (Also, it's not like his area of the city is Pleasantville!) I also know that at times there have been minor shooting instances or fights but it's pretty much all been on a Friday or Saturday night, very late, and in or around one of the clubs filled with, may I mention, mostly people who AREN'T from old city. Believe it or not, people, those of us who live in old city, hate it on the weekends and no, most of us don't spend our time going to the Blue Martini or Red Sky or all those various douche-y clubs. Anyhoo, then he tells me how he witnessed a shooting in front of one of the clubs and he personally had to use his own belt to tie the guys like around the femeral artery so that the guy didn't bleed to death. Oh, good lord, now you're the hero too? Whatever. Then he tells me that he has it from a good source that just recently some guy shot several people in a driveby outside one of the clubs with an oozie. An, oozie, folks. And I live in old city and never heard about THAT one. Also, again, when shootings do happen they are on the weekend, NOT in the middle of the week, but whatever. So anyway, at this point I'm just annoyed and irritated by him and I know damn well that if I met him I'd probably just end up wanting the strangle him. And then the kicker. He knows I am out with my friend and he says, well if I came all the way out there to meet you would you at least be willing to talk to me privately, I don't want to come out there just to hang out with two girls. And I say, well, I'm not going to abandon my friend and leave her sitting all by herself, she's not staying late, just come out and we can talk one on one once she leaves (though at this point, knowing how much he annoyed me, if he did come I'd probably beg her NOT to leave.) So this get's him all huffy and he says something like "Fine. Whatever." and then hangs up on me. Hello, asshole.
Seriously, What a douche.
Monday, January 25, 2010
More Craigslist Fun
The Listing:
philadelphia craigslist > personals > men seeking women
In Philly on business - 35 (center city)
"Can anyone recommend a place for a hip, slender, baby faced and down to earth guy to get a drink?
Will you join me for a drink there?
Make the answer the subject of your email."
(All my Responses in Bold/Italic)
I suggest a bar. Our city has lots of them ;)
I see...very good point. Any particular bar?
That depends on where and what type of place you are looking for - also price range.
So why the baby-face comment? You're older than 35 aren't you? Just think you look or do look closer to 35. Either that or your hoping to meet a young college girl who thinks 35 is old ;)
Ah, I think I missed that part of your email. I'm looking for the type of place where 2 people can have a nice quiet conversation. Think intimate.
The baby-face comment was intended to be taken at face value. I do look younger than I am.
I do tend to go for younger women but that was not the reason for the comment.
"Intimate", huh? Ha.
Intimate conversation.
So basically you want to either: A - Talk dirty with someone in a bar or B - Have the kind of conversation someone would normally have with their therapist ;)
Oh boy. You are too much.
So, what prompted you to write?
Boredom, mostly, plus the possibility of getting a free drink or two, if you want me to be completely honest - ha.
How flattering. So you "expect" a drink but don't "expect" to provide anything in return. Interesting.
I never said I expected a drink, I said that's the best case scenario - especially as you are asking someone to meet you out, I was planning to go out for a happy hour drink as it was, if we got along and you decided to buy me another drink, it would be appreciated. I wouldn't go if I EXPECTED a drink and I didn't want to get one as it was. You asked for best case scenario, I was honest, that was not an expectation.
And I "expect" to find good company. Best case scenario would also be that the nice gentleman I meet is indeed a gentleman who doesn't "expect" to get something from a woman just because he buys her a $7 glass of wine.
aha!
I worded that wrong - I don't even "expect" good company, I would HOPE for good company. In addition, if you found me terribly uninteresting, I'd assume you wouldn't even consider buying me a drink - and if I found you creepy and irritating, I wouldn't want you to buy me a drink.
So then it doesn't even matter if I am a woman.
Well no, I suppose it wouldn't matter, but I would be confused as to why you posted in men seeking women rather than strictly platonic or woman for woman (if you happened to be a lesbian) and why you referred to yourself as a guy.
And I would wonder why you didn't respond to a strictly platonic ad or a woman for woman ad.
Well, probably because I was reading the men seeking women section and you referred to yourself as a guy. What would you be wondering about? I'd certainly ask why she was posing as a guy and make it clear that I'm not into girls that way, but that is she wanted to meet for a friendly drink, sure, why the heck not.
Okay, then. Absolutely no expectations!
Would a gentleman decline to buy a girl a drink based on how interesting he found her? That sounds like a quid pro quo. And we don't do that in this intimate setting of ours!
A gentleman could decline to buy a girl a drink regardless of whether or not he found her attractive or interesting, it's a nice gesture to do so, but certainly not required. What's not gentlemanly is buying a girl a drink or dinner and then expecting that she owes him something sexual in return.
I'd be wondering why she would want to meet a guy from the men seeking women section who is from out of town when she did not want any after bar festivities. And if she does not believe in after bar festivities why it matters if she is into guys or girls and looking for a man when she could just as easily be looking for a robot for intimate conversation.
Why does someone need "after bar activities" or "intimate conversation" from a stranger? If I was travelling for business and knew no one in town and was bored and didn't know where a good place to go was, I would certainly post an ad on craigslist in the women seeking men section (because women seeking men and men seeking women get a lot more views) just for the company. Why not? Also, the women for men and men for women sections - though many people turn them into this - are not supposed to be for sexual encounters - there are other sections for that - mainly the "casual encounters" section.
(I didn't say this to him, but where in the world did the "robot for intimate conversation" come in??)
True. The gentleman could still hope that there would be something sexual and not expect it and still be a gentleman. Just as the lady could hope he buys her a drink and not expect it and still be a lady. I think these are both reasonable hopes for a great night with its foundation in the man for woman section.
Someone doesn't need it any more than someone else needing another person to buy her a drink. Or vice versa. Maybe I'll want you to buy me a drink and you'll want to get in my pants. Why are gender based generalizations necessary?
Who are we to judge what a particular section is for?
(At this point I told him I was leaving for happy hour - he said enjoy, and my final reply...)
May you find your intimate conversation, if all else fails, try chinatown. There are plenty of places there for "intimacy." You'll have to pay for a massage though, and I can't vouch for the conversation. Don't be mad, had to say it, all in good fun - seriously though, enjoy your time in Philly.
philadelphia craigslist > personals > men seeking women
In Philly on business - 35 (center city)
"Can anyone recommend a place for a hip, slender, baby faced and down to earth guy to get a drink?
Will you join me for a drink there?
Make the answer the subject of your email."
(All my Responses in Bold/Italic)
I suggest a bar. Our city has lots of them ;)
I see...very good point. Any particular bar?
That depends on where and what type of place you are looking for - also price range.
So why the baby-face comment? You're older than 35 aren't you? Just think you look or do look closer to 35. Either that or your hoping to meet a young college girl who thinks 35 is old ;)
Ah, I think I missed that part of your email. I'm looking for the type of place where 2 people can have a nice quiet conversation. Think intimate.
The baby-face comment was intended to be taken at face value. I do look younger than I am.
I do tend to go for younger women but that was not the reason for the comment.
"Intimate", huh? Ha.
Intimate conversation.
So basically you want to either: A - Talk dirty with someone in a bar or B - Have the kind of conversation someone would normally have with their therapist ;)
Oh boy. You are too much.
So, what prompted you to write?
Boredom, mostly, plus the possibility of getting a free drink or two, if you want me to be completely honest - ha.
How flattering. So you "expect" a drink but don't "expect" to provide anything in return. Interesting.
I never said I expected a drink, I said that's the best case scenario - especially as you are asking someone to meet you out, I was planning to go out for a happy hour drink as it was, if we got along and you decided to buy me another drink, it would be appreciated. I wouldn't go if I EXPECTED a drink and I didn't want to get one as it was. You asked for best case scenario, I was honest, that was not an expectation.
And I "expect" to find good company. Best case scenario would also be that the nice gentleman I meet is indeed a gentleman who doesn't "expect" to get something from a woman just because he buys her a $7 glass of wine.
aha!
I worded that wrong - I don't even "expect" good company, I would HOPE for good company. In addition, if you found me terribly uninteresting, I'd assume you wouldn't even consider buying me a drink - and if I found you creepy and irritating, I wouldn't want you to buy me a drink.
So then it doesn't even matter if I am a woman.
Well no, I suppose it wouldn't matter, but I would be confused as to why you posted in men seeking women rather than strictly platonic or woman for woman (if you happened to be a lesbian) and why you referred to yourself as a guy.
And I would wonder why you didn't respond to a strictly platonic ad or a woman for woman ad.
Well, probably because I was reading the men seeking women section and you referred to yourself as a guy. What would you be wondering about? I'd certainly ask why she was posing as a guy and make it clear that I'm not into girls that way, but that is she wanted to meet for a friendly drink, sure, why the heck not.
Okay, then. Absolutely no expectations!
Would a gentleman decline to buy a girl a drink based on how interesting he found her? That sounds like a quid pro quo. And we don't do that in this intimate setting of ours!
A gentleman could decline to buy a girl a drink regardless of whether or not he found her attractive or interesting, it's a nice gesture to do so, but certainly not required. What's not gentlemanly is buying a girl a drink or dinner and then expecting that she owes him something sexual in return.
I'd be wondering why she would want to meet a guy from the men seeking women section who is from out of town when she did not want any after bar festivities. And if she does not believe in after bar festivities why it matters if she is into guys or girls and looking for a man when she could just as easily be looking for a robot for intimate conversation.
Why does someone need "after bar activities" or "intimate conversation" from a stranger? If I was travelling for business and knew no one in town and was bored and didn't know where a good place to go was, I would certainly post an ad on craigslist in the women seeking men section (because women seeking men and men seeking women get a lot more views) just for the company. Why not? Also, the women for men and men for women sections - though many people turn them into this - are not supposed to be for sexual encounters - there are other sections for that - mainly the "casual encounters" section.
(I didn't say this to him, but where in the world did the "robot for intimate conversation" come in??)
True. The gentleman could still hope that there would be something sexual and not expect it and still be a gentleman. Just as the lady could hope he buys her a drink and not expect it and still be a lady. I think these are both reasonable hopes for a great night with its foundation in the man for woman section.
Someone doesn't need it any more than someone else needing another person to buy her a drink. Or vice versa. Maybe I'll want you to buy me a drink and you'll want to get in my pants. Why are gender based generalizations necessary?
Who are we to judge what a particular section is for?
(At this point I told him I was leaving for happy hour - he said enjoy, and my final reply...)
May you find your intimate conversation, if all else fails, try chinatown. There are plenty of places there for "intimacy." You'll have to pay for a massage though, and I can't vouch for the conversation. Don't be mad, had to say it, all in good fun - seriously though, enjoy your time in Philly.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Patience is a Virtue
So I respond to this guys ad on Craigslist and sent a picture of myself. His first response is as follows:
Hello Beth,
Well, to be honest, I am not as nerdy as the post suggests. It was something that I thought was funny and would get a good response. I didn't take the test yet on okcupid, do plan on it just don't have the time right now. But anyway I was hoping you could tell be about yourself and give me an accurate description. I thank you for the pic but I never ask for one. This is from experience. Too many people sending out fake pics or pics that are nothing like them. Besides, attraction is so much more than just one's physically appearance. What are you like as a person? Do you have a good heart or are you more a self-interest person? Do you live in the city or the burbs? These attributes tell me more about the person, and what's important, than any picture could represent.
So I do look forward to finding out more about you. And feel free to ask me anything you like. I am an open book.
While this isn't a bad response, I found his comments about not caring about phsyical appearance a little fishy. First of all, let's be honest here - maybe some people care nothing about physical appearance but I generally think you are a liar if you say that physical attraction isn't important at all. Is it everything? Absolutely not, but it is important. Also, he claims to not be interested in seeing a picture but asks for an accurate description? Couldn't I lie more without a picture? I suppose I could do what a lot of men do in saying "I'm very attractive." But something like that is so subjective - it seems stupid and presumptious to just make a blanket statement like that. In addition, most of the guys that say stuff like that seem to think they are much hotter stuff than they actually are, at least so far as I have seen. Also, the fact that this guy seem to be making a big deal about how attraction isn't at all important seems to imply that perhaps he knows I may not find him attractive and is thus trying to play the "once you get to know me you will overlook the fact that I look like Quasimodo." I hate to sound like a superficial bitch, but just like I can't make anyone be attracted to me when they aren't, I can't make myself be attracted to someone that I'm not even slightly attracted to just because I like their personality. I've tried before, and sometimes more attraction does come over time, but when it's not there, it's just not there. I also take issue with the question "Do you have a good heart or are you more a self-interest person." Does he really think anyone is going to say, "No, I do not have a good heart - I care only about myself and anyone else can go screw themselves." In addition, just the general tone of the e-mail seemed to indicate to me that perhaps this guy takes himself a little too seriously. Still, I was going to write back, I just didn't right away. Three days later I get this e-mail from him:
How disappointing.
Good luck in your search.
So I write back a quick note saying, "I've been incredibly sick, just fyi, I've barely been doing anything but sleeping." This was true, by the way. I then soon get another note back from him:
Really? That's what your going with?
Like I said. How disappointing.
Goodbye.
Apparently I wasn't wrong about him taking himself too seriously!
Hello Beth,
Well, to be honest, I am not as nerdy as the post suggests. It was something that I thought was funny and would get a good response. I didn't take the test yet on okcupid, do plan on it just don't have the time right now. But anyway I was hoping you could tell be about yourself and give me an accurate description. I thank you for the pic but I never ask for one. This is from experience. Too many people sending out fake pics or pics that are nothing like them. Besides, attraction is so much more than just one's physically appearance. What are you like as a person? Do you have a good heart or are you more a self-interest person? Do you live in the city or the burbs? These attributes tell me more about the person, and what's important, than any picture could represent.
So I do look forward to finding out more about you. And feel free to ask me anything you like. I am an open book.
While this isn't a bad response, I found his comments about not caring about phsyical appearance a little fishy. First of all, let's be honest here - maybe some people care nothing about physical appearance but I generally think you are a liar if you say that physical attraction isn't important at all. Is it everything? Absolutely not, but it is important. Also, he claims to not be interested in seeing a picture but asks for an accurate description? Couldn't I lie more without a picture? I suppose I could do what a lot of men do in saying "I'm very attractive." But something like that is so subjective - it seems stupid and presumptious to just make a blanket statement like that. In addition, most of the guys that say stuff like that seem to think they are much hotter stuff than they actually are, at least so far as I have seen. Also, the fact that this guy seem to be making a big deal about how attraction isn't at all important seems to imply that perhaps he knows I may not find him attractive and is thus trying to play the "once you get to know me you will overlook the fact that I look like Quasimodo." I hate to sound like a superficial bitch, but just like I can't make anyone be attracted to me when they aren't, I can't make myself be attracted to someone that I'm not even slightly attracted to just because I like their personality. I've tried before, and sometimes more attraction does come over time, but when it's not there, it's just not there. I also take issue with the question "Do you have a good heart or are you more a self-interest person." Does he really think anyone is going to say, "No, I do not have a good heart - I care only about myself and anyone else can go screw themselves." In addition, just the general tone of the e-mail seemed to indicate to me that perhaps this guy takes himself a little too seriously. Still, I was going to write back, I just didn't right away. Three days later I get this e-mail from him:
How disappointing.
Good luck in your search.
So I write back a quick note saying, "I've been incredibly sick, just fyi, I've barely been doing anything but sleeping." This was true, by the way. I then soon get another note back from him:
Really? That's what your going with?
Like I said. How disappointing.
Goodbye.
Apparently I wasn't wrong about him taking himself too seriously!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
It's Fun to Share!
Just wanted to post a few links sent to me by people or that I've come across through posts on facebook:
A quite entertaining site but a guy posing as a girl on one of these online dating sites: No First Date
An article from The Frisky (a site also worth checking out) - I must admit, it's kinda true!: 10 Reasons why dating an older man is awesome
And my friend Sarah's suggestion for a new Philly boyfriend for me: ArthurKade.com - I sincerely hope this is a joke/internet performance art kind of thing, but you never know with people!
A quite entertaining site but a guy posing as a girl on one of these online dating sites: No First Date
An article from The Frisky (a site also worth checking out) - I must admit, it's kinda true!: 10 Reasons why dating an older man is awesome
And my friend Sarah's suggestion for a new Philly boyfriend for me: ArthurKade.com - I sincerely hope this is a joke/internet performance art kind of thing, but you never know with people!
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